16 Divorced Adults Revealed Why They Regret Ending Their Marriage Several Years Later
7.
“I’m recently divorced and miss my ex-wife immensely. We had been together for eight years and married for two. I was the one who initiated the divorce, and my reasons for doing so were selfish. It’s a pretty long story, but the tldr of it was that I had grown dissatisfied with my life and burned out with my career, and thought that my marriage was the reason for my dissatisfaction. We met in college, hit it off, and eventually got married after a number of years. During this time, I was going through the process of becoming a physician, which is a pretty long, grueling process that includes studying for the MCAT, applying to medical school, going through medical school, then applying for and going through residency. She was with me during this entire period, and helped support me financially, emotionally, and physically, and took care of a disproportionate amount of the housework and other day-to-day things.”
“Things were going well for me career-wise, and I had matched into my dream residency program at a prestigious institution, and we were happy and excited to start our new lives together in a new city. We got married before we moved and had a wonderful wedding, which in our eyes was perfect. Unfortunately, our wedding took place right before we were about to move, and in my eyes, we didn’t have time for a honeymoon.
This is probably where the trouble began. It wasn’t just the honeymoon: medical residency is brutal, and the work hours are terrible (on average, I worked 70 hours a week). In my mind, I no longer had time to take her out on regular dates, and our time at home began turning more into time spent separately. Our sex life suffered (my libido became very low, and I frequently felt too tired when she was in the mood). Even climbing, our hobby that we used to always do together, became something that we started doing separately.
I became more withdrawn, cynical, and jaded, and blamed the marriage for my unhappiness. I started thinking about what things would be like if I were with someone else, and all of this took a toll on our marriage. I gave almost no effort despite our efforts to try to repair things, and eventually asked for a divorce. There was little drama, and everything was essentially amicable.
Initially, I thought that I had made the right decision. Soon, however, the weight of my decision started sinking in. Dating has been a frustrating experience, with many lukewarm encounters, ghosting, and other things that seem to be all too common with modern dating. I realized that the things I was looking for were things that I had with my ex-wife, and that, for a long time, I had taken her support and nearly unconditional love for granted.
Unfortunately, I had damaged our relationship beyond repair in her eyes, and she had moved on, enjoying her new freedom in being single and her new ability to independently pursue any career she wanted.
I’m truly glad that she’s happy and wish her nothing but the best. At the same time, I regret my decision more than anything else I have ever done. She was part of me. She was my everything; I was too selfish and weak to realize it.I would give up my career and anything else to be with her again and have my happiness back.
Maybe one day I’ll find someone who made me as happy as she did. Maybe not. What I do know is that I was foolish and selfish, and that throwing my marriage away is a decision that will probably haunt me for a long time.”
—dthrowaway89
