27 Older People Share Brutally Honest Truths About Being Divorced Or Separated At Their Age
Iām 65. All single women my age are loving life. We do what we want when we want. Iām so tired of cooking and cleaning for a man that totally just expects it. Nope. No more.
After 13 years of marriage, got divorced at 55. My wife initiated.
Even though I’m a single parent of two teens now, yes my life is better. Not sure the same is true for my ex. She divorced me to go on holidays with someone who appears to have dumped her as soon as he found out she was no longer married.
She asked me to marry her again a year after the divorce because “it would be easier” and I laughed and said no. Wouldn’t be easier for me.
Iām 64f, been divorced 14 years. Love living alone and donāt want any relationships either. A wise woman once told me, after a certain age men either want a nurse or a purse. I donāt care to be either.
Much better! No one is micromanaging me, criticizing me, controlling me, accusing me or projecting their bad behavior my way. I live a peaceful and fulfilling life now.
Life got so much better! We were together for 31 years and I am grateful daily that he is gone! Life is peaceful and joyful and anyone I invite in has to make my life better, not worse.
Cheers!
Divorced after 25 years and three kids. He behaved like a fourth child and I was exhausted.
Eight years since it was finalized and I have downshifted my career, own my home and travel whenever I want.
I have a great relationship with our kids and they also maintain a relationship with him. 10/10 would do it again.
Divorced ten years ago when I was 50 and ending it was one of the best decisions Iāve made, for the kids and myself. Went on to have another long term relationship that was much better than my marriage. That ended on good terms and also led to a lot of healing following the bad marriage. I felt damaged and broken. Even though my seven year relationship ended a year ago, I have absolutely no regrets about it and it absolutely made me a better person. Staying married āfor the kidsā is so counterproductive. Kids see when their parents donāt get along and generally donāt like living in a toxic home any more than the adults do.
So so so much better! It’s costing me a pile of money – I call them my freedom payments and I don’t regret writing that check every month. After 42 years, enough was enough – couldn’t lift a finger around the house, decided that he really didn’t need to work. Thought that he should spend his days talking on the phone and watching Fox news.
He kept harassing me for an open marriage, aka someone else, so I divorced him after 38 years, but she didnāt actually want him. My teenage son seems happier. I know I am.
Divorced at 56 after 30+ years. Iām a woman who also lost my voice during marriage. I never even realized it because it was so gradual. I want a loving relationship and I enjoy keeping house but Iāll never give up my voice again.
Life has gotten better. 38 years married and four years separated. Lonely, but still way, way better. Why? Chaos is gone.
I am 56 was married 23 years – it ended at 49 years old both parties at fault likely. Easy to assume it was her affairs that were the root cause but obviously she was not happy and I was not there for her emotionally – always working.
Financially brutal for the first 3 years.
First year emotionally unimaginable horrible.
Then I got my feet back under me – took some chances in business that paid off – met a new lady and life is good.
The 2 adult kids seem to be doing well also which is all that really matters.
In the past I was a mommy maid with an income. My current marriage is pretty great. I am confident that I can live independently and care for myself if things change.
Ex-wife called it after 35 years together. We both had our issues but for the most part functioned āokayā. That was almost 2 years ago. Over that two years the first few months were listless, and then my life became more of a journey of personal discovery. Now after a few missteps along the way, Iām far more optimistic than I have been in a very long time.
Not me, but I have an aunt and uncle who divorced in retirement. Their own kids say they wish they had done it sooner, and I noticed 20 years ago that they were amicable but not in love anymore. They’re both now living their best lives. My aunt travels everywhere and my uncle has a new girlfriend.
I absolutely wish my husband had beaten cancer, but I don’t know if we could’ve handled retirement. I need lots of quiet time and he was the sort who just. couldn’t. shut. up. Work, conferences, separate travel for bike rides and the like, were always a blessing. We wouldn’t have had those in retirement, and no matter how much you love someone, sometimes you just need to get away. It would’ve been quite a challenge. It’s not an insurmountable one though, if both parties are on board.
Not sure if divorcing at 55 counts as “Grey” but in my case much better off emotionally, not so much financially.
My own fault for letting her keep the bulk of our retirement funds. Now we are both turning 65, and she is retired and traveling, and I’m looking at working for at least the next several years.
My 30 year marriage ended three years ago, when my ex had an affair with a woman he met on Twitter. I gathered up my self respect and left… moved 8 hours south to be close to my grown kids. I don’t miss his constant negativity, reliance on substances to cope with life, lack of integrity, and general unreliability one bit. The affair burned itself out in a few months and he isn’t having much success with women since, from what I’ve heard.
I got married for the first time at 18, and always had a new man lined up as I left relationships. It feels good to be single, and to be content just as myself, not needing a partner to complete or validate me.
My sister left her marriage of 35 years and divorced her husband around the same time I did. She reconnected with a high school boyfriend and they got married last year. They’re good together and I’m really happy for her. Our post divorce lives took different paths, and both are good ones.
My dad was lonely at 85 after his second wife died. (My mom was gone as well). We kept saying, Dad, you need a girlfriend. Of course in his retirement home there were 95% women and him. But he said he didn’t want to date a grandmother for god’s sake, he wanted an 18-year old, and no 18 year old would want him. We believed him. Dad, that’s disgusting.
He died a week short of 90. Lonely.
Both better and worse but the balance tips towards better. On the better side, the bickering has ended, no more dealing with selfishness, childish outbursts or drunken belligerence, my finances are simpler, easier financial planning, I’m free and have nobody to answer to other than myself so my future is whatever I make of it.
On the worse side, I seriously need to get laid, life is easier with a partner, nobody to explore and experience life with and build shared memories, so many great memories are now regrets, nobody is looking out for me – if I died nobody would know or care until rent was due or some deadline passed.
It feels weird though. After all my years, I have no roots and no real attachment to anything. Once I drifted away from my wife there was just nothing left to orient myself around. My life is completely rudderless. Still, no regrets. I’ll figure it out.
20 years married (25 yr relationship). Better in many ways. Financially we’ve each suffered a bit, but both had big work changes in there too. My life is better in the sense of being alone for the first time ever in my life. I’m enjoying it, unsure of what the future brings, and that’s ok.
Divorced after 29 years, remarried now for 2 years and sooo much happier. My ex couldn’t stand to visit his parents because of their bickering, and I TOTALLY saw ourselves in them down the line if we stayed together.
Life is both easier and harder in unexpected ways. Getting out of such a miserable situation has been liberating but I’d do a relationship again because life is still better with a partner.
Iām 51f, divorced after 25 years. I stayed in the marriage until my children graduated high school. My life now is better than I could have ever imagined.
My sister got divorced a few years ago after 29 years of marriage. For myself, her husband seemed a bit of a baby (couldn’t really do anything for himself), but I didn’t have any problems with him. A few years prior, we had a girl’s trip with our niece and my BIL literally ate cereal for every meal while she was gone. My husband, OTOH, cooked for himself and went out to eat!
My brother hadn’t liked him from the get-go and they almost had words a few times. My sister also had cancer a few years back and I started to see some cracks in their relationship. We live a few thousand miles apart, though, and usually when she came to visit, he was working.
They never had kids and I learned after the divorce that they hadn’t ever combined their money, which turned out to be a blessing, even if it was hard for me to understand. She handled nearly all the financial things and paid the bills. Luckily, his mommy lives close.
Ultimately, an affair (his) broke them up. I kind of wonder if they’d eventually have gotten divorced if something hadn’t pushed them. I think he thought he was going to ride off into the sunset with the other woman, but she dumped him a few months after the divorce was final.
My sister has recovered mostly now, but she was pretty sad for a while. She never cared for his parents, and they are very old. I think she’s glad she doesn’t have to witness the family falling apart when they’re gone, although she does still sometimes spend time with her ex. She told me she was going to ghost him, but it didn’t happen.
