87 Americans Share Their Biggest Reverse Culture Shocks After Moving Back Home
Lived in Japan for 6.5 years, had a kid there, came back to the US in December 2016.
– *Everything* here seems to exist to create profit for someone: your health (or more likely your illness), your poverty, your education, etc.
– There is zero concept of “the greater good” or public welfare here, even when it would make more economic sense to do something collectively.
– In a similar vein, that you put a dollar value on your family’s health. I had just started working when my toddler got really sick, and I had to try to figure out “is he sick enough that I can afford the doctor visit?” “Is he sick enough that I can afford a day off work to take him to the doctor?” “How long can I afford his care if it’s not just the flu?” etc.
– Given all the above, the conclusion (here come the downvotes) that America is a massive machine designed and perfected to completely and utterly f**k poor people.
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Australia made me realize how much racism in America affected my life. I did the same s**t in Australia that I do in America: teach at a university (USQ!), go to the gym, hang out with friends… normal s**t. But it felt extremely different. White women weren’t afraid of me (they actually didn’t even notice me mostly). When I met people, there weren’t awkward jokes or comments about black people. No one followed me around the store. I even felt comfortable asking police for directions, and they gave them to me and went about their business. I came back to Houston, which is super diverse, and it was the exact opposite. Even my 60 something year old mother (who came to visit me in Australia) noticed it. I felt so…. normal.
I lived abroad for 10 years, 4 in Europe and 6 in Asia with a few months in Latin America thrown in for good measure. Others have called out several that I agree with, tipping, obesity, lack of public transport. I could write a book.
The biggest shock, however, is the ignorance of the population. The propaganda and political system here are sophisticated to such an extent that Americans will tell me directly and with no personal experience or seeming review of the facts that a for profit healthcare system is the only way to go. They’ll defend and believe that this is the greatest and freest country on earth. They still believe that most countries outside of the U.S. and Europe are third world. They’re still convinced that running everything, including social services, on a profit motive is the only way to guarantee a positive outcome for society. Many believe that China and Iran are the greatest sources of evil since the N**is. They tell me this without ever having been on the Bangkok metro, to a Taiwanese hospital, or seemingly having ever talked to a Mainland Chinese person.
Americans do travel and in great numbers. For those that do, they’re incredibly insightful and open minded. For the majority, however, they live in the biggest bubble of ignorance I’ve ever encountered.
That people think the US health care system is normal. “GoFundMe” is not meant to pay for your hospital bills. It’s insane that literally every other….EVERY OTHER….developed country can find a way to make health care a basic human right. And Americans are just like, “too bad if you’re poor and get sick….just go ahead and die, you’re going to die anyway.” I don’t understand the American mentality.
People are fatter and more ignorant than I remember. Entitled victim mentality is very prevalent now.
I spent a semester abroad in Sri Lanka then moved back to the US. What struck me the most was the amount of food people waste. In Sri Lanka it’s heavily frowned upon to waste food, even among the wealthy who don’t deal with issues of scarcity. Returning to my college dining hall and seeing my friends pile their plates with food to then eat half and throw the rest out was a little jarring and disheartening.
The song and dance of the waiter bringing your bill and leaving, taking your card and leaving, then waiting for them to come back with the receipt so you can give them a tip and finally go home.
In many restaurants in New Zealand you just go to the host station to pay when you’re done, and there is of course no tip.
I’m from the US, but moved to Germany when I was 7. Went back to the US for college, then decided on Germany for good. Bread, dude. Americans do not know bread. Germany, there’s a bakery on every corner and you will get a decent roll for about 20 cents. Americans have bakeries but like why is there so much sliced bread for sale and so little fresh? Why is everything in the bakery section sweet?
Also, fun fact: Germans call all square, pre-sliced white bread toast. Americans only call it toast when it has been toasted. You do not know how confusing this is.
Not sure this counts as “returning”.So, Back and forth. Mexico and US. Currently in Mexico. We flew domestic from one Mexican city to another last week on Volaris. Super orderly getting on the plane. Everyone had their luggage in the overhead and were seated in a weirdly, quiet and efficient manner. I think they closed the doors early and we were off. Then really weird…when we landed…NOBODY stood up. They just sat there. Usually in the US there’s about a dozen morons that just stand up and start elbowing to get their stuff out of the overhead and then stand in the aisle breathing on you. Nope. Then the flight attendant would walk down the aisle and open 4 overhead doors on each side and the people under those would stand up in an orderly fashion and get their stuff and walk off the plane. Then the attendant would do the same with the next 4 compartments, rinse and repeat. It was AMAZING. Everyone was off quickly and in a super smooth fashion. Why can’t WE do this!!!???
Get rid of a for profit medical system, and suddenly our food gets healthier. In the U.S., the fatter and sicker we are, the fatter Big Pharma’s wallet gets. When you have to make something to work for EVERYBODY, you’re forced to maximize it’s efficiency. Cleaning up s****y foods is the easiest way to do that.
I was in Europe, and I really miss relying on public transportation, or just walking. Sure, it slowed down my day, but that was the normal.
I didn’t realize the small but pervasive exhaustion and strain that having to drive everywhere causes on my body and brain.
This was 20 years ago, so it’s only gotten worse but….
It was the food.
After living in Thailand for a year, losing a ton of weight, and feeling 1000% better in general, the first time I got back to the states the realization hit.
All of the food was terrible, expensive, and basically p****n. It was like the scene from jaws in terms of my perception.
I was so annoyed by not being able to pass on the left on the escalator.
In the UK you stand to the right if you’re stationary so if people are in a rush they can pass on the left.
In the UK Public transportation was quiet and you avoided eye contact. No one would dare blast music without headphones. Not the case in the US.
It’s like once you land back in the US everyone suffers from main character syndrome. The entitlement is palpable.
Money seemed really weird when I moved back to the US from Australia. US coins felt light and tiny in my hands, like if monopoly had plastic toy coins. And it suddenly infuriated me that all paper denominations were the same color.
Everything in the US is HUGE. I spent three months in Japan, when I returned home, I ordered a small drink from Pizza Hut and it was enormous. I could’ve gone swimming in it. I hadn’t noticed how big portion sizes and homes and vehicles are.
Grocery stores have so many options and bright colors (after coming back from Central America)
People are loud and not concerned with how their behavior affects others (Coming back from Japan)
Horrible public transportation (Coming back from Europe and Japan)
Lots of dirty streets (Japan again haha)
People don’t take pride in their appearances (Guess what? Japan!)
Males aren’t very affectionate toward one another (Middle East and Australia)
Children don’t respect their parents that much (Nigeria, Middle East, Central and South America, and….Japan!).
The obesity was a complete shocker whenever I came home from Asia. The poor food quality and serving sizes at restaurants was another.
Once I permanently returned to the US the greedy, crappy healthcare system blew my mind and still does today even though I have “great insurance”.
I lived in Germany for a year. When I came back to America, the thing that struck me the most is how HUGE food portions are in restaurants and such. There was a local “American” place in Germany that served food on comically large plates, but after going back home I realized they weren’t all that far off.
The US: Shocked that im not able to go from the airport and just simply hop on a train/bus/tram and get to my home. The public transportation systems in South Korea and the Netherlands really spoiled me, and made me realise how terrible the US infrastructure is in this regard.
Logistically going to my home town is a nightmare, must rent a car (expensive!) or arrange for someone to pick me up each time. No uber or anything to take me to the rural part of my state where im from either.
Now i understand one of the reasons why people in rural America don’t really travel much.
After a year living in South Korea, I’d forgotten how people don’t have that sense of mindfulness of others in the US. I had also grown accustomed to handing payment over with two hands, which looks weird in the US but felt so impolite when I stopped doing it.
D**g ads and the amount of salt and/or sugar in all food.
The lack of public third party spaces that are free to hang out in.
Europe has so many free public spaces and youth/elderly centers for people to spend time with others without paying for entry or having to purchase something. The US is so desperately in need of more spaces like this. Especially for kids. It makes me really sad to see how much pay for play happens here.
12 weeks of maternity leave (if you’re lucky, not guilt-tripped to do less) – it’s up to 18 months in Canada, can be used intermittently / spread out, and can be split with the dad.
When I returned to the US from China, I got my personal space back. Everyone in China is always pushing up against you. In China it’s normal to have 20 people crammed in an elevator. And the smoking! The doctors in China smoke while they’re examining you. People smoke in the elevators. Once when there were about 12 of us crammed in the elevator a gentleman was smoking and he almost caught my shirt on fire. It’s like they think there is only one elevator and they must all cram into it like their lives depend upon it.
My fiancee was in Japan for a year. When she got back, the train that goes from Newark Airport to the NJ Transit train broke down in the middle of the tracks before the stop. Well, stopped for 45 minutes, then started again. If the trains in Japan are more than a few minutes late, they are all over themselves apologizing. I don’t know if that was her biggest culture shock, but it was what she commented on immediately.
I went to high school outside the US and came back to go to college while my parents still lived abroad. (They moved back the summer before my junior year.)
1. I felt really “out of the loop” in terms of pop culture. I had never seen an episode of ‘Friends’ or ‘Seinfeld.’ I had never heard of any of the popular bands or singers. People would quote lines from the show or lyrics to a song and I would just stare blankly.
2. I had no idea what the “in” brands were for clothing, electronics, cars, or anything else. People would say “I just bought a __” and I would have to fake smile and say something neutral because I didn’t know if they were talking about a handbag or a car.
3. I was shocked at how poorly my college classmates (and sometimes professors) understood geography. During introductions, I would give the name of the European country where I had been living and I would be met with blank stares. Several people asked me “Did you drive here?” (From Europe to America).
– Giant parking lots
– Huge stores like Walmart that sell everything, not just groceries
– Wanting to walk or take my bicycle was “weird”
– dressing nicely (just not in sweats and sweatshirt) was me “trying really hard”.
Coming back to the states after living in Brazil, you notice that the reason waitstaff at restaurant are always harassing you with questions is not because of “attentive” service but because they want to keep you moving.
Lived in Paris for 2 years, and it has to be how f*****g loud everyone is here. Like two people at a coffee shop sitting across from each other with full outdoor voices.
I left the country after 2007 and returned in 2 years, shocked that people’s lives were revolving around Facebook. I had expected it to fizzle out like Myspace 😂.
How mean and self absorbed everyone is.
The separation between everyone. Both physically, as in we keep to ourselves and are not generally social, and culturally, as in we are not really a melting pot as much as a bunch of different cultures living in the same place that do not blend.
How bad the food makes you feel.
How bad the healthcare system is.
Good ones:
Very rarely have to worry about purchasing counterfeit products.
….
American arrogance and entitlement is high, and a danger to continued prosperity – compared to countries that are ok with being humble and hungry to work hard ….
The way local police dress like they’re preparing to invade Fallujah and how aggressive they are.
The food quality; food tastes better and spoils faster abroad.
I came back from Mexico to attend a family members wedding in Dallas:
1- Literally could not walk to the book store that was 1/4 mile from my hotel as it crossed a freeway and another major intersection. Ended up doing a 30 min loop to get there, which I could see from my hotel window.
2- We went to the Cheesecake Factory on my first night back- got a massive stomachache.
How much people complain without realizing how good they have it.
How ignorant many people are about geography.
I’m American and lived in the Balkans for a year (Bulgaria, Serbia, Greece — in that order). I’ve gotten so used to completely impersonal strangers and overly personal friends, that when I got back I briefly thought it was EXTREMELY WEIRD that the waiter checked up on us. I missed customer service.
I didn’t really miss how Americans conduct friendships though. We befriend one another, usually, to only have fun together, which is fine, but friendships in the Balkans were much deeper much faster. I could discuss divisive political matters and reveal all of my deepest, darkest secrets one night, then the next morning the person I had an argument with was buying me cheese bread and making me coffee. We’d have fun then go back to calling each other morons over a political argument… and the next day we’d go explore an old monastery or something. In the US this is usually the end of the friendship.
This is completely, 100% based off of my anecdotes and by no means defines all Balkan and American friendships, of course. I’ve had “Balkan-type friendships” with other Americans too, it just seems to be the exception for me personally.
I spent over a decade in South Africa and here’s what hit me the hardest:
* Nobody in the US seems to know much about the rest of the world. I feel like people in other countries are much more of a ‘global community’.
* There’s so much of everything! There’s a whole aisle in the grocery store just for cake mix! JUST CAKE MIX! I used to get panic attacks because I was overwhelmed by all the choices.
* Everything is about 30% easier to accomplish. More online shopping, stores and businesses are open later, etc.
* Many Americans seem to assume that whatever way the US does it is the best. They can’t fathom the idea that other countries may have done some things better.
* There’s way more premade ‘ready to eat’ unhealthy food that’s cheap and easily available. Suddenly it’s actually more time and money to eat healthy, which feels weird. I gained a lot of weight my first year back.
* Racism is just as prevalent, it’s just more subtle.
Fat people. There are so many fat people in the US. Plus crumbling infrastructure and homelessness. It’s weird I never saw it before.
I never realized how loud Americans were until I moved abroad and went back to visit. I find it really annoying now, especially when as soon as I step off the plane into the noisy airport I hear everyone yelling and talking so loudly. Very different from where I live now.
Others have said it but the food.
The quality of accessible food in America is s**t. You can pay out the nose for quality but elsewhere it is just more available.
Customer service, it’s not a thing here.
But also, the tipping, so much tipping, everyone wants a tip. For doing their job. It’s tiring.
1. The amount of toxic chemicals allowed in the food, shampoo, lotion, makeup, perfume, detergent, soap, etc was startling
2. Sports betting was legalized and gambling addictions increased
3. The anti-vaccine movement
4. The amount of conspiracy theories- OMG!
5. MAGA
6. Trump won. I didn’t see that coming!
7. The amount of anger, hatred and hysteria is weird
8. Backlash against the LGBTQ community – why the obsession with them? That’s weird. Are they a new f****h? Did someone watch too much T-girl p**n? I’m very suspicious of the religious leaders and politicians who are against drag queens, trans people, gay people, etc. Are you mad because they don’t want to date you?
No drag queen or trans person ever harmed me. That was straight men. Why are straight men not seen as dangerous but drag queens are? This is really weird and backwards.
9. The amount of guns and gun violence – go have s*x with your gun if you love it so much! It’s another weird f****h
10. D***s being advertised on TV, the radio, bus bench ads, billboards and this is really weird. How much of America do the d**g companies own?
11. Everything is sexualized and I mean everything. This is weird
12. Religious leaders getting heavily involved with politics – stay in your lane! Separation of church and state. If you don’t shut up you will be taxed. This is odd. It’s heavily narcissistic
13. No universal healthcare – it feels like a third world country in America if there’s no universal healthcare
14. Huge cars – are men buying such big trucks and SUVs to make up for their tiny d**k? The bigger the car? The smaller the d**k is what I’ve seen. The bigger the car the more insecure the man is. The man who drives the compact car tends to have a bigger d**k.
Why not go to smaller cars to be able to have smaller parking lots? The obsession with huge cars is so freaky weird.
15. P**n – way too much p**n is easily accessible and kids are getting messed up by it. There aren’t any laws to prevent this from happening. Justin Baldoni is an example of this and he’s got a track record of talking about how much his p**n a*******n messed him up. I guess a p**n a****t is well tolerated now?
16. Depression and anxiety rules the land – I get it. There’s plenty to cause depression and anxiety, but why is nothing being done about it? That’s weird
I didn’t encounter this when living abroad. Are people making it part of their identity now? I’m depressed and that’s who I am. I’m anxious and that’s who I am. We don’t say I am cancer. We say, I have cancer. Why do people not say, I have anxiety or depression? Why is it part of their personality and identity? That’s not healthy or helpful, but it is odd.
When I lived in another country people said, my mom has depression. My sister has anxiety. They didn’t say, they are depression or anxiety.
Why are people so quick to claim a mental illness as who they are?
17. The amount of people who want to be neurodivergent is odd. Why do you want to be called autistic without any testing?
Is this more, it’s my personality and identity? I’m autistic! No, you have autism. Again, no one says I am cancer. You have something, but it isn’t who you are.
The way people describe themselves is strange.
18. My identity is my career, religion, political party – um what? Did you lose your personality?
Why do people make their personality and identity all about the group they belong to? Why do they not describe themselves as who they are as a person? I’m a lawyer. Is that all? I’m a Mormon. Is that all? It’s weird.
I’m a shy introvert. I’m a talkative extrovert. I enjoy horseback riding and competing in rodeos. I enjoy playing hokey and watching hockey. Why do people not describe themselves this way?
This has been a strange adjustment for me. How people see themselves in America is very odd. How they describe themselves is weird.
Lots of fat people, no public transport, reduced quality of food, giant cars, excessive advertising.
Lived in Europe and the Middle East with the family for about 9 years, then came back home to Littleton, Colorado in early April of 1999. Our new house was about a mile and a half from Columbine HS.
The guns. The f*****g guns. Why does a presumably civilized society need so many god damned guns?
I grew up in the US. I then lived in Brazil for a bit. I moved back to the US at 19. I couldn’t drink legally in the US. It was so weird to have alcohol taken away as an option.
On a happy note, I had somewhat forgotten just how safe the US was.
On a sad note, I also forgot how depressed the US population was.
Lived in rural China for 2 years. Came back to the US and noticed:
The rapid speed at which everyone walks.
The green grass.
The people who used wheelchairs were visible in society.
The food sucks.
I can’t haggle anymore.
The individual is more important than the group.
Seeing closed stores completely empty keeping their lights on all night, after being in places with constant electricity outages where people were unable to complete basic tasks like boiling unclean water or cooking in the middle of the day.
-Drivethru restaurants everywhere
-No people on the streets because everyone is in their cars
-Grocery Stores were overwhelming because of all the choices
-Tipping everywhere for everything, and more specifically the expectation that you need to tip 20%.
Ireland back home to USA.
Mine were seeing all the American flags everywhere, Ireland has plenty of Irish flags, but nowhere near as many as America.
whenever I sneezed back at home, I would get told “bless you” every time. In Ireland, maybe one out of ten times would someone say that. Not a big deal, but I noticed it.
Normal grocery shops in Dublin have ~15 cereal options, but back in America at Wegmans grocery shops there are two aisles dedicated to cereals, it’s glorious. Basically just the amount of everything is much bigger due to the larger populations.
I love Ireland and Dublin, but there’s nowhere like home and it’s little quirks.
Echoing another comment here:
The USA infrastructure is so depressingly depleted and crumbling compared to pretty much any modernized Western nation. I haven’t been to SE Asia or China, but that’s above our heads as well as far as I can tell.
Whenever I go back to the USA I’m astounded at how s****y everything is.
That upon returning home, my American friends had zero interest in the 2 1/2 years I spent living in Asia and South America.
How racially diverse America is compared to NZ at least. I spent 8 yrs in NZ and visited the US last year. We are really a cultural melting pot that other countries just don’t experience/have.
The insane amount of choice. I came back to the states after only a year in the Middle East, and this was 33 years ago. We went to the grocery store and found it very overwhelming. I’ll never forget it. And it’s much more true now.
The ABSOLUTE HARDEST PART is paying 3x the price at restaurants for simple meals that are essentially poverty food. Rice, mandolin julienne veggies, a dollop of sauce, dash of oil, and – holy s**t – a fried egg, all for 12-18 bucks.
S****y, expensive food. No question. Close runner up? Very few walkable cities/towns.
– Obsession with phones/being glued to your phone. I left when smart phones were just released but still mostly out of reach for most people. When I came back everyone had a smart phone and it was impossible to get a “dumb phone”.
– Lack of community or separation of communities.
– Lots of choices and stuff. So much useless stuff.
– You can have ice in your drink wherever you go and it’s safe to drink.
– Washer, driers, dishwashers are luxuries we take for granted.
Grocery stores.
I lived in suburban US. I lived and worked in 13 countries over a period of 5 years with my longest trip being about 5 months.
What always got to me when I came home were grocery stores. Each country I worked in always had unique challenges. One place, we struggled to find anything drinkable (bottled water, soda, Gatorade, anything that wouldn’t make a foreigner sick). Some places, if you wanted things you had to go to individual stores (meat came from a butcher, veggies from the market, etc..). When you found products, you often didn’t have any choices, you took what they had or you went without (oh, you want milk? We got shelf stable milk in a box. Oh you don’t like milk in a box? Too f*****g bad, that is what we have here).
When you spend months away, living in places where people don’t have excess and a myriad of choices, it is really hard to suddenly come back and make choices. The grocery store was always the toughest for me.
It i tough to explain. The closest I have ever seen it attempted to be explained is in the movie The Hurt Locker. In the end, after spending a year in the Middle East, a soldier is with his wife (or gf) and kid in the grocery store and she asks him to get some cereal. The next shot is showing him in an entire aisle full of cereal, trying to figure out which one to get and not really knowing how to figure it out.
It sounds strange, but I can always feel the anxiety and confusion of that scene in the movie. Almost anything in a grocery store in the US is done to excess. Water? We got water with and without bubbles. You want it from a glacier in Iceland or you want treated municipal water that tastes really good? Plastic bottles bother you? Oh, we have these 6 brands in glass bottles, would you like clear or green glass? 0.5L or 1.0L bottles? US or imported? Mineralized or plain? Caffeine or no caffeine? Natural flavorings added or plain? and all you want is a bottle of water because where you just came from, tap water will give you the s***s and you are still in that habit.
Being able to understand everyone talking around me all the time. It was so jarring.
Also, the choices in the grocery store. Please just give me three types of toothpaste to choose from. I truly don’t need to choose from 40.
How so many people hate their parents and don’t feel a responsibility to care for them as they age.
Racial divide. Came back to the States for college. Freshman orientation week at Purdue. I was with my roommate who is white and a pair of black fraternal twins. I saw a group of 4 girls, I suggested to the guys let’s go and offer our services as campus guides. One of the fraternal twins said: “But they are White”. This was 1975.
I was shocked as I had been at a boarding school in England all this time and had not encountered this.
Lived in Europe for 13 years. I went over overweight, out of shape, eating huge portions, and living off takeout. Came back healthy, in shape, eating clean, and walking every day. Drinking soda or eating anything sugary makes me sick because it’s too sweet. I’ve been back for 8 years now, and I still only eat half my food and save the rest for later and I still eat clean and exercise almost daily.
