‘Friends’ Bothered By Plus-Size Woman Dating A Hot Boyfriend, Say She’s Not Good Enough For Him
Some people might find true family and connection in their friends. Yet others may only experience pain and toxicity. A 2011 poll by TODAY showed that itâs more common than we think: eight in 10 Americans said theyâve had a toxic friend at some point in their lives. Whatâs more, the statistics were higher for women: 84% experienced a toxic friendship.
This woman found herself in an unpleasant friendship, too. After she found out her friends deemed her âtoo uglyâ for her boyfriend behind her back, she wondered how she should approach them. Thatâs why she asked for advice online: should she just overcome her insecurities, or is it best to kick these friends out of her life?
A woman had to deal with friends telling her sheâs not attractive enough for her boyfriend
Image credits:Allef Vinicius / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But she had enough after she found out they were gossiping about her behind her back
Image credits:Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits:freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits:GhoulsAnonymous
In the comments, she wrote more about her appearance and why some people might call the BF âout of her leagueâ
Attractiveness is so much more than a personâs physical features
Are looks really the most important thing people look for in a partner? Research from all over the world shows that no â people value personality way more when it comes to a partner. And although women tend to be more pro-personality than men, the trend is still obvious all across the globe.
In the U.S., around 93% of women say that having a partner whose personality they like matters more than their looks. 68% of American men said the same. In Britain, sense of humor comes in second for both men (32%) and women (33%).
Women also choose their partners based on shared interests, good looks, and financial standing last. Itâs very similar for men, with good looks rated as the fifth most important thing in a partner.
A 2024 study also found that a partnerâs sense of self-compassion boosts a partnerâs relationship satisfaction. Individuals who treat themselves with kindness are perceived by partners as good at constructive conflict resolution, trustworthy, and strongly committed.
Weâre somewhat wired to find certain physical features attractive due to biology
Thatâs not to say that looks donât matter at all. But when we consider whether a person looks attractive, it doesnât necessarily mean their physical features. Things like good hygiene, personal style, and good posture all contribute to a personâs attractiveness.
Evolutionary scientists say that weâre attracted to people that we see as best mates biologically. Men, for example, look for physical signs of fertility in women â some relate it to a womanâs hip size. Thereâs also age: men tend to choose younger partners in many cultures due to their perceived fertility.
In turn, women look for physical signs of strength and ability to provide for children in men. That can sometimes manifest as being attracted to musculature in the upper body. In general, we might unconsciously rate potential mates based on what genes they can pass on to our children.
Love and physical attraction are two different things
Some people donât need to be physically attracted to a person to experience love; itâs usually people who identify as asexual. Those who have experienced trauma might also not feel physical attraction but still form romantic relationships.
But research also shows that attraction may weaken with time, especially for women, but love doesnât. When people say that they fall in love with their partner more and more every day, thereâs some truth to that. Studies have shown that we find faces that we see often more attractive. Therefore, familiarity can make someone more attractive.
The relationship between attraction and love is also very personal and depends on the individual. According to the coordinator of gender-based violence prevention at Johns Hopkins University, Tyler Conzone, MPH, âwe can look at anyone in our lives and find attractive qualities within them, while knowing what role we want them to play in our lives.â
âYou can find a friend physically attractive or be able to share your feelings with them, but in your heart, you know that you wouldnât want to be with them romantically. Similarly, you can be romantically attracted to someone or know someone is âperfect on paperâ for you, but if there isnât the right connection, then thereâs no way that a romantic relationship could work,â she explains.
âDrop the backstabbing friends, get supportive ones,â the commenters responded
The supportive comments inspired her and her BF to look for a new group of friends
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