If You See These 23 Signs At The Next Party You’re At, It’s Probably Time For You To Leave
Article Created by: Justin Keturka
Parties often have a lot of unwritten rules about how you should behave. Depending on your local culture and relationship dynamics, you might be expected to be fashionably late or bring the host a gift. But something that is in a bit of a grey area is knowing when to leave. Very few hosts are willing to outright tell you ‘get off my couch, leave, I’m sleepy.’
The ever-helpful r/AskReddit community shared some of the (not so) subtle signs that it’s probably time for you to thank your host, grab your things, and head home. ASAP! Scroll down for their useful tips, and be sure to upvote the ones that you personally found the most helpful.
If someone shows off or flashes a weapon of any kind. Gun, knife, taser, whatever. Just go. It always ends badly and bystanders get hurt all too often.
In your teens: any vomiting.
In your 20s: it’s just you and the host’s closest friends, and everyone left there is a closer friend than you.
In your 30s: the babysitter needs to get home.
In your 40s: no one needs encouragement. Our pajamas start calling us immediately after dinner.
When the hosts yawn, leave.
If the hosts don’t yawn, leave by the time half the guest have.
Don’t stay until the end unless it’s your best friend.
In Syria, social visits begin with juice. Then sweets. Then at last, after a nice visit, Turkish coffee with cardamom. When the coffee comes out, you know to sip and split.
In Yemen, coffee is served first. This resulted in a bit of an awkward visit once when my Yemeni friends invited new Syrian acquaintances over to visit….
At my friend’s birthday party he stood up, turned off the music, thanked everyone for coming and said, “you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here “. I think it’s from a song but I’d never heard it and I thought it was great.
If there’s two or more guys being loud and one of them suddenly takes his shirt off, you have somewhere between 1 second and 1 minute to skedaddle before the fight starts.
When you hear the second thing break. Usually something glass. Once is an accident, twice is people are getting to the clumsy falling down stage of drunk or stoned, the fights come next. Time to call an uber.
In my experience, when someone shares a Youtube video they’re excited about.
The video is fine, but it inevitably leads to “Oh, that reminds me of one I saw!” leading to an unending chain of people sharing videos, most of the group bored at any given one.
The party is over, now its just people watching Youtube. Bail.
When you are ravenously hungry
When the birds start waking up
When folks begin playing quarters for shots of Evan Williams
When the inappropriate peeing starts – be it accidental, on themselves, on others; on you, on anyone really, without permission; for attention; etc.
Same thing for pooping
When talk of calling the cops is overheard
When you cannot locate a reliably sealed, unused, brand name, condom
When you don’t recognize where you are
When you can’t find the door
When you start hearing the word “bro” at an increased rate, in increasingly louder volumes
When you are for real considering needing an attorney
When the only people left are dudes you don’t recognize
Any talk of human or animal sacrifice
In all seriousness, listen to your gut. If it says leave, leave.
If there is a group of guys who goes to the party and did not greet anybody, where they just stand around looking, someone is about to be jumped or shot. Just leave.
Some lady with a too-eager grin shows up with a Santa’s bag full of Tupperware and an order form in triplicate.
