Woman Invites Only Some Members Of Friend Group For Dinner, Finds Out She Can’t Do That
Food allergies are no joke. Even a tiny taste of the wrong thing can put your health and even life in danger. So, naturally, you expect your friends to be empathetic. And true friends will be. However, just because you’re allergic doesn’t mean that your pals can’t enjoy the things you avoid when you’re not there.
One internet user asked the AITA community whether she was the jerk for going to a new sushi restaurant without a friend who has a pretty serious seafood allergy. Scroll down to read all about the dinner drama that very much feels like you’re back at school, in the worst way, and check out the internet’s mixed reactions to the story.
Having dinner with your friends is awesome. What’s not to like about good food and even better company? However, people can have different dietary preferences
Group of women enjoying dinner together at a restaurant, highlighting friend group dynamics and social invitations.
Image credits: Jomkwan / freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman vented online about a massive drama that erupted in her social circle. All because she went out for sushi without a few friends… one of whom was allergic to shellfish
Text excerpt about a woman’s friend group dinner dynamics and challenges with excluding members, focusing on dinner invitations.
Text excerpt about a woman discussing inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner.
Woman inviting select members of friend group for dinner, discovering she can’t exclude others from social plans.
Woman in casual clothes upset and arguing with waiter over food in a restaurant, highlighting friend group dinner conflict.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
Text discussing a woman’s serious seafood allergy causing hives, related to inviting friend group members for dinner.
Text excerpt discussing dining challenges due to allergies and group dinner invitations in a Midwest setting.
Woman invites only some members of friend group for dinner, experiencing unexpected social consequences.
Text showing a woman invites only some members of friend group for dinner and faces unexpected consequences.
Woman upset while talking to friend about inviting only some members of friend group for dinner.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Text about a woman managing friend group dinner plans and dealing with food allergy concerns at a sushi restaurant.
Text excerpt discussing appetizers and a friend choosing a restaurant for the group in a dinner invitation scenario.
Text excerpt about a woman inviting some friends to dinner, highlighting issues in her friend group.
Two women smiling and sharing sushi with chopsticks during a casual dinner among friends.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Text excerpt about a woman inviting only some members of a friend group for dinner, causing upset among others.
Text discussing a woman inviting only some members of a friend group for dinner due to a food allergy.
Text about woman inviting only some members of friend group for dinner, highlighting issues in selective dinner invitations.
Woman with concerned expression holding phone, confused about inviting some members of friend group for dinner.
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
Text on a white background reading like, if I wanted to exclude Kate I could have just stood firm on eating at the sushi place to begin with.
Text excerpt about a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner causing division and conflict.
Image credits: not pick it
You are not a bad person if you spend time doing things you like without inviting your entire social group every time
Image credits: syda_productions / freepik (not the actual photo)
It certainly seems like the author did everything that she could to handle the situation well. She pitched a new idea for dinner with her entire group of friends so as not to exclude ‘Kate,’ who was allergic to seafood. She acted like a real friend would. She was flexible and reasonable.
That being said, the author still wanted to visit the new sushi restaurant that had opened up with a smaller group of friends. However, this caused a lot of tension in the wider social circle.
“Jen, Kate, and another friend were upset that the rest of us had gone somewhere without them. They felt that we were purposely excluding people,” she shared.
“But, to me, this isn’t middle school. We are allowed to do things as friends outside of the full group. And since Kate has a food allergy, it makes sense that she doesn’t attend a meal like this. We still have our normal scheduled dinners, just this time a smaller group went to a restaurant that another friend could not eat at.”
The fact of the matter is that, no, friends don’t have to do absolutely everything together. Human beings need meaningful, positive social contact to feel good, sure. But you also want to spend time with other people and even alone.
Not to mention the fact that just because you’re buddies with someone doesn’t automatically mean that all of your interests have to align. It’s okay to do your own thing while they focus on something else for a bit.
And real friends wouldn’t go around making you feel guilty for spending time with someone else. Especially when you know for a fact that they’ve been very flexible when it comes to your allergies, etc.
This sort of fake outrage and jealousy (masquerading as accusations that you’re being excluded) isn’t healthy. And it’s harmful to the friendship in the long run.
To be clear, your friends aren’t excluding you if they focus on their interests for a little bit, while also including you in other activities.
Food allergies are nothing to mess around with. In serious cases, you might go into anaphylaxis
Image credits: prostock-studio / freepik (not the actual photo)
It’s likely that the seafood allergy that the author of the viral story refers to is actually a shellfish allergywhere you should avoid eating foods like shrimp, crabs, mussels, octopus, lobster, oysters, squid, snails, and scallops, among other things. Your symptoms can range from mild to severe.
Mayo Clinic explains that some of the most common symptoms include:
- Hives
- Irritated and itchy skin
- Congestion
- Swelling of your lips, face, tongue, and throat
- Trouble breathing
- Coughing and choking
- Abdominal pain
- Dizziness
- Anaphylaxis
The last symptom, anaphylaxis, refers to your immune system releasing chemicals that cause you to go into shock, and can potentially be fatal. If that happens, you need an immediate epinephrine (adrenaline) injection and to go to the emergency room.
The main signs that you may be going into anaphylaxis are the swelling of your throat or tongue, trouble breathing, a drop in your blood pressure, severe rashes, swelling, nausea, lightheadedness, and fainting.
Unfortunately, we were unable to reach out to the author of the post for comment because her account got banned.
What do you think, Pandas? How would you have handled this dinner drama? Do you or does anyone in your social circle have serious food allergies? How do you work around them when you go out to eat? What do you do to include your friends in your activities as much as possible? Grab a snack and let us know in the comments below.
Most readers were on the author’s side. Here’s their take
Reddit comment explaining why woman inviting only some friends to dinner and handling group dining is justified.
Comment about woman inviting only some friends to dinner, discussing group dynamics and exclusive plans.
Comment on social platform discussing woman inviting only some members of friend group for dinner and the consequences she faces.
Screenshot of a forum post discussing a woman inviting only some friend group members for dinner and the conflict that arose.
Comment on a forum about a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner and social boundaries.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing the dinner group issue, calling others ridiculous for limited invitations.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of friend group for dinner and related conflict.
Screenshot of a discussion about a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner and facing backlash.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising not to engage in drama after inviting some members of a friend group for dinner.
Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner.
Comment on woman inviting some friend group members for dinner, discussing exclusion and social conflict resolution.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner.
Comment on forum stating not everyone can do everything in life, relating to woman inviting some friend group members.
Comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner, causing drama among teenagers.
Alt text: Woman discusses inviting some members of friend group for dinner and the challenges she faces with group dynamics
Text post showing a woman discussing friend group drama after inviting only some members to dinner, causing conflict.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner.
Comment on Reddit post discussing woman inviting some friends for dinner and realizing she can’t exclude others from the friend group.
Screenshot of an online forum comment discussing socializing with subgroups of a friend group at dinner events.
Alt text: Excerpt discussing a woman navigating friend group dynamics around dinner invitations and social exclusions.
Woman invites select friends for dinner, learning she can’t exclude others from the friend group gathering.
Woman inviting select members of friend group for dinner, discovering she can’t exclude others socially.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting some friend group members for dinner and exclusion concerns.
Commenter responding to woman inviting only some friends to dinner, discussing social boundaries in friend groups.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner.
Comment discussing a woman inviting select friend group members for dinner and group dynamics after.
Online discussion post about a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner and the social consequences.
Some folks thought nobody did anything wrong
Woman invites only some members of friend group for dinner and faces social consequences from others.
Comment discussing secrecy and miscommunication in a woman inviting only some members of friend group for dinner.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of a friend group for dinner.
Screenshot of a discussion about a woman inviting only some friend group members for dinner and the resulting feelings.
On the other hand, a few readers thought that everyone messed up when handling the dinner situation
Woman invites only some friends to dinner, facing challenges about exclusive invitations in a friend group setting.
Text discussing a woman inviting only some friend group members for dinner and issues with communication.
Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman’s dinner invitation dilemma within her friend group.
Not everyone saw things the same way. Some people thought the author was in the wrong
Comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner and handling allergies sensitively.
Comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner and the resulting conflict.
Screenshot of a user comment explaining socializing despite dietary restrictions in a friend group dinner invitation issue.
Screenshot of a social media comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner.
Text excerpt about a woman discussing being selectively invited to dinner and feeling excluded by her friend group.
Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman inviting only some members of her friend group for dinner and the resulting issues.
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
